Garbage Dump

Cream the Egg

2008-05-21T14:52:08Z

Thanks to Ketherian for sending this to me!

And the original link explaining what it is.

http://scienceblogs.com/grrlscientist/2008/05/what_to_do_with_all_those_cadb.php#more

Rejection is a Bitch

2008-05-15T12:26:18Z

There's no two ways about it...

...Rejection is a bitch, especially for writers. Maybe it's because our stories are such a part of us by the time it's written that rejection of the story feels like a rejection of our talents and thus, a rejection of ourselves.

I received a rejection of sorts yesterday ("thanks, but we'll keep your file for later consideration") and it was for what could have been a lucrative videogame contract. Steady work for a freelancer that paid beyond well and for as long as I could have continued producing. It was a dream job, and it didn't work out. Maybe later, but not now.

And I'm fine with that.

I went through the obligatory five minutes of "woe is I" but that was it.

See, rejections don't matter to me as much as they used too. I learn what I can from the experience, try to improve when I can and sometimes, I have to accept that I:
A) Missed the mark.
B) Wrote well but my writing simply didn't appeal to the person I wrote for.
C) Lost out to more talented people.

It sucks, but it happens and I move on. Why? Because I have NO other choice. I'm not going to stop writing. I'm not going to pursue another career. This is what I do. This is all I'm happy doing. That's it. That's all. I could wallow in pity and lament the loss of work, but in the end, that's not going to help me move forward. Therefore, self-pity is a fruitless exercise.

I first learned this from White Wolf, where I came close to quiting writing altogether on several occasions. Writing for Justin Achilli and Phil Brucato and Richard Dansky was painful because they were demanding on an unprecedented level. And I survived and improved because of them, so... bring it on. I want to bleed for my craft. I want to show the scars from dragging myself up through the ranks. Because there's no turning back and each inch of victory is sweeter than the last.

Honestly, I wish I could tell each of you that you're all wonderful at what you love doing. I wish I could tell you that your stories are great and that your writing is the unique snowflake of your expression. But I can't. Maybe you aren't as good as you hope you are. Maybe I'm not either...

...but does it matter? Honestly, does the minor misstep matter to the greater marathon that lies ahead of you?

Do or die. Improve or fail. There's no two ways about it. And self pity? Self-pity is death by attrition, so shake it off and get back to work. That includes you, Soulban.

Heal Emru

2008-05-10T19:44:44Z

His name is Emru Townsend, and you won't find a more genuine smile or laugh than Emru's. He is a father and a brother. A son and a friend. He is one of us. He is any of our friends that we hold dear to our hearts. He is the kind of man who would give you his last candle to keep you warm and he's suffering from Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.

Emru needs a bone marrow donor badly, and the current list of donors, especially African-Caribbeans, isn't enough. Not by a percent, not by thousands of them.

Please, go to these sites and read more. Here are two sites/posts dedicated to Emru thanks through the tireless work of his sister. They also address misconceptions about the process. Read it for the sake of everyone you know and love.

http://www.heal-emru.com/
http://kino-kid.livejournal.com/145610.html

If you've ever wanted to be a superhero -- to right the wrongs of the world -- then why can't you be a hero to one person?

Lucien

Speed Racer

2008-05-10T12:28:01Z

I saw Speed Racer last night with friends, and the movie was absolutely horrible. It was complete crap, and not even fun crap. It was the worst movie I've seen in a while. I could eat shovelfuls of shit and it still wouldn't remove the bad taste from my mouth.

Instead of spending money on Speed Racer, you could use the $10s you saved to:
1) Pay homeless people to kick you in the nuts for two hours.
2) Buy straight razors to write select Apocrypha on your body.
3) Convert into pennies and proceed to stuff them into various body cavities.
4) Buy rancid meat from the supermarket and proceed to eat it raw.
5) Buy Ewe Boll a Happy Meal and let him regale you with his brilliance.
6) Buy pencils, sharpen them, prop them pointing up and then fall in them.
7) Hire the Wachowski Brothers a FUCKING EDITOR!

Any one of these suggestions is better than watching that stinking, rotting pile of crap that is Speed Racer.

PS: Please, please, please, please, PLEASE! don't tell me that it was a kid's movie and that's why I didn't enjoy it. Kid's movies don't have a company shares subplot and a five minute exposition on the f'ing Stock Market.

PPS: And don't say "And now tell us what you really think." The movie was horrible beyond the proper definition of the word.

Believe what you will...

2008-05-03T14:45:28Z

It's after midnight and I'm still playing World of Warcraft. It's my decompress, the way I relax before hitting the sack. For some reason, though, the earphones feel rough against my skin. Rough and uncomfortable, and I haven't been playing that long. So I loop them around my neck, and I play with the quiet of the house as my soundtrack.

Then I hear it, that distant sound that's too close to be coming from the neighbors and too far to be identified immediately. I stop playing, and seek the noise out. It sounds like the urging of an alarm, but the tempo is racing faster and faster. Like a countdown. Like something bad is about to happen. I check my father's room. It's closed and the light's on, but the sound isn't coming from there. Rather than disturb my father, I check the ground floor. It's definitely an alarm; I'm getting closer.

I enter the basement, and there it is in the work room... a broken alarm clock that my father was fixing a couple of days ago. It's wailing for no reason, like a child that wants attention. It's also disemboweled, its intestines of yellow wires exposed through its cracked and open frame. I pull the batteries out and render it silent. That's when I hear another noise... the sound of rushing water. We have the hose outside going on all night to fill the pool, so I know it's from that, but it sounds too loud. Too close by.

I rush into the adjoining bedroom and snap on the lights. My socks are soaked in a second. The walls are blistered and water is raining from a pipe in the ceiling. The carpet is pregnant with water, and my weight on it only swamps my feet. I shut off the water main and tell my dad.

We spend the next hour and a half in good spirits, using a special vacuum to aspirate the water and emptying its bladder somewhere in the neighborhood of twelve times. And we joke about my mom watching over us, warning us in her own way. We joke about it because we both believe it to be true.

There was no reason why the alarm should have gone off. But if it hadn't, the entire basement would be flooded by the time we woke up this morning; worse by the early afternoon when we might have actually discovered it.

You can call it coincidence, but I believe that when you pull back far enough, all coincidences become part of the great scheme. So, wherever you are, mom... thanks for hitting the button on that alarm. I'm glad you're still with us.

The Raison D'etre

2008-05-02T11:36:08Z

Do you write a story to:

1) Ask a question?
2) Make a point?
3) Impart an idea?
4) Weave a tale?
5) To clear room in your head for more stories?

Nice way to start the week...

2008-04-28T11:46:05Z

Well. this is a good way to kick off the work week. Gamershell.com just reviewed the last game I wrote... a DS game for a European series turned movie called Dragon Hunters.

Here's the review:

http://www.gamershell.com/ds/dragon_hunters/review.html

Or if you don't have time, here's my little ego boost for the day:

"Finally, dialogue that’s worth reading…

Although the story isn’t anything inspired, it gets the job done, and serves a context for the platforming action. What is surprising, however, is the dialogue which is actually enjoyable. In-between missions the three will exchange in conversation that is not only witty, but also expresses the character of each as well."

Voice as God

2008-04-26T12:24:48Z

On the recommendation of my LJ Friends, I read Gary Braunbeck’s “Mr. Hands.” I wasn’t sure I was enjoying it, initially, especially since I was halfway through the book and had yet to pick up on the actual storyline itself. Had I not read the back cover, I wouldn’t have known what I was reading or where this was headed. That said, I reached the end and realized it was the first time in a while where I was satisfied with the ending of a horror novel. I mean genuinely satisfied. The book crept up on me, pulled me along for the ride and I actually enjoyed it.

After, I picked up and started reading Dan Simmons’ “Children of the Night.” Barely a hundred pages into it and I suddenly realized something about the horror that I not only enjoyed reading, but the horror I loved writing as well.

In essence, I love authors with the commanding sense of their world… what I call “the voice of God.” I call it that because authors like Simmons take their story beyond the provincial and not only frame it against the backdrop of the world, but manage to bring that world to life. Now, I’m not talking about stories set in a global stage, but I am talking about authors who research their material so that even the casual phrases and expressions are steeped in some level of authenticity and local flavor.

Take Caleb Carr’s “The Alienist,” or Michael Crichton’s “The Andromeda Strain” and “Jurassic Park,” or even Stephen King’s early books like “The Stand.” Each of those books represents a body of research and an effort to make their story resonate with something of the real world. And I think that’s something sorely lacking in horror.

And I honestly blame the axiom “write what you know.

It’s a standard trope, taught by all creative writing and scriptwriting and playwriting classes, even though few of them teach the students to cut into the expression any deeper than its shallow interpretation.

“Write what you know” … “WWYK.”

“WWYK” has been twisted to mean “write about the familiar” rather than the real message behind it, which is “learn more.” The authors with the voice of God have learned that lesson. They research the story and make it larger than themselves, larger than their experiences.

Now, I can understand why a lot of horror isn’t like this. Most horror is written focusing on (wo)man vs. monster. If horror is empathy, the writer may sometimes frame the action on the small stage to best accentuate that horror. And the more familiar the better. That said, familiar has become a trope in itself and the repetition of themes has made horror seem somewhat inbred and self-referential. You may not agree with me, but I for one am tired of seeing:

> The protagonist as author. This is “write what you know” taken to its worst extreme. And yes, some people do it well, but it’s the flood of “me too’s” that have me strumming the banjo because we’ve gone past provincial straight to country bumpkin inbred.

> The protagonist returns home to be haunted by his past. This theme is understandable from two points of view. The first is that it resonates with all readers since we imagine what it would be like to return to our home/childhood knowing what we know now; and secondly, character growth sometimes isn’t possible without facing the crucible of one’s past. That said, I doubt I’ll read another returning home ghost story. Richard Dansky’s “Firefly Rain” is the last one for me, not because it was the straw that broke this camel’s back, but because I prefer leaving the theme on a high note.

> Everyone dies. It happens sometimes, but I think some authors have missed the point that the real horror is in surviving something and knowing that the remainder of this person’s life will forever be pinned to that moment. You know what’s a horrifying ending for me? The conclusion of “Being John Malkovich.” John Cusack’s final fate is far more horrifying to me than where most horror novels leave you. "And then they all die" is not scary… sorry. You’ve just robbed the reader of their connection to your story, to their own empathy by isolating them from their touchstone.

> Rape as horror. Is sexuality really the last taboo we have left? Is kink wrapped in a cloak of ennui the only way we can titillate? What next? The protagonist shouts “PENIS” before running away, giggling at his bravery?

> OMG, the clown/puppet/scarecrow/doll/slice of cheese pizza has come to life and is now hunting me! WTF!

> Torture porn. Thank you… move along… not interested.

About three World Horrors ago, I had a chance to chat with editor Stephen Jones. I like the man though I realize a lot of people don’t. Jones, however, said one thing that always stuck with me. It wasn’t a pearl of wisdom… more like a lament.

“I miss epic horror.”

For a while there, I believed that horror as seen in books like “Weaveworld” or “The Talisman” or “The Stand” was what Jones was talking about. Now, while still reading “Children of the Night,” I have to wonder if he wasn’t also talking about novels that simply went beyond the experiences of the writer to encapsulate something larger than the writer’s or the readers’ lives? Greater themes, a larger sense of backdrop, a grounding in the real world and... and.....

No killer clowns, no little people as freaks, no dental tools (unless followed by: “Is it safe?”), no cabin in the woods, no haunted birthrights, no switchblade penises… no more schoolyard horror and campfire frights, but a sense that we’ve somehow graduated and discovered that the world is much larger than the neighborhood or village where we were all born and raised.

And I'm not saying all horror has to be this way, but it would be nice if some of it was.

Renegade Wizards

2008-04-22T18:57:50Z

So I can finally announce that my second Dragonlance novel for Wizards of the Coast is entitled: Renegade Wizards. It's part of the Anvil of Time series, and happens at some point in Dragonlance's past.

Expect the release for March 2009 or so.

As I was writing the book, I started snapping pictures of myself at work... as a behind the scenes look at writing for the series. Here are the first three pictures to go up on Facebook and on the Dragonlance.com forums. With the permission of WoTC, of course.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=35155&l=19174&id=525272063

Enjoy!

TOO FUNNY

2008-04-14T02:05:20Z

sorceror just sent me this fantastic link:
http://ieet.org/index.php/IEET/more/xiangayhot/

All I can say is:

ALL YOUR STRAIGHTS ARE BELONG TO US

Official Announcement

2008-04-13T12:17:38Z

The Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transgender community would like to make an official announcement to the hetero community.

*Ahem*

We r in ur closet, coordinating ur clothz.

Thank you.

Heterosexual to the 9's.

2008-04-12T12:18:03Z

Okay...

Heterosexual steel-tip boots? Check!
Heterosexual white undershirt? Check!
Heterosexual button-up plaid shirt? Check!
Heterosexual worn blue jeans? Check!

Right! I'm ready for the Monster Truck Rally tonight at the Olympic Stadium!

Hey, wait a sec... I don't look straight at all! I look like a member of the bear community! All that's missing are the chains and the sleeveless button-up shirt. Damn it! I'll never look straight now!

Love Shack, or rather...

2008-04-10T12:39:47Z

So, for the past week, the lyrics for the B52's Love Shack have been playing over and over in my head. Only... swap out Love Shack for Lovecraft, and THAT'S what's been playing in my head.

Lovercraft, that's where it's at....

What's Next?

2008-04-08T14:08:50Z

Trying to improve my writing by being more diligent about reading, and reading horror in particular. I'm not a fast reader, but I'm trying to fill my days with it more.

So, over the last couple of months or so I have finished reading:
1) Firefly Rain
2) Heart-Shaped Box
3) The Hellbound Heart (reread that one, actually)
4) The Ruins
5) The Keeper

I am currently reading:
1) Conspiracy Theories of the Titanic (thank you very much, Rich)
2) The World Without Us (just cracked it open)

So... what do you folks recommend I read next fiction-wise? I want an engaging horror story that makes good use of the English language.

My Current (Personal) Novel Project

2008-04-07T12:03:36Z

Here, Novel... here boy. Get over here... no... stop running off in that direction.

No! Heel! Heel boy! Bad Novel!

Damn it! Where are you running off too, now. Stop attacking those protagonists, you psycho mutt! What's wrong with you! I said bark at them, not rip out their throats!

Go... go fetch, will ya.

What the -- Who the hell is this? No no... he is not the new antagonist. I never said fetch a new antagonist. The old antagonist is still good. You -- you buried him? Show me where, boy!

Christ, I'll never find him now.

Okay, will you at least roll over for me, Novel. Just this Chapter... please?

Great. Fantastic. You're just going to do my leg right here in public? You don't respect me one-- hey! Where the hell are you going now?

Wait up!

So the Fantastic Four is helping Evacuate Earth...

2008-04-06T10:54:28Z

...and Nu-Earth is... segregated? Bad Fantastic Four! No cookie for you!

And nobody noticed this at Marvel?

Hate Mail and Spam

2008-04-03T14:44:46Z

So, right after receiving that bit of hate mail accusing me of misogyny, I receive sexual performance spam at my Yahoo account entitled:

"Girls will hunt you in the streets!"

Does anyone else see the humor and the vaguely double entendre in this?

Hate Mail

2008-04-02T21:54:37Z

I just received my first bit of hate mail as an author!

"Mr. Soulban,

I have just listened to your short story "Homecoming" on the Twilight Tales Podcast. I must say, after being moved to write to you, your website offered an all too obvious revelation: you're weak and your perversion is mediocre and uninspired. a hurt little boy obsessed with seeing that taunting cheerleader from your high school on her knees confessing her sins and asking for your forgiveness.

What a transparent attempt at painting your self-indulgent dream of revenge as a work of any worth. Are you seriously asking me to consider this diatribe of misogyny as a anything other than a masturbatory movie inside of your little mind, forever dinning with the mantra 'she's such a bitch, but I want to fuck her'?

Your pal,

Svelte Wunderful"

***

I didn't bother with a proper response other than "Dear Sven, I could care less," but what I'm thinking is... "Dear Sven... I am gay. I went to an all boy's school. My principle tormentors have been other boys. None of them were cheerleaders because I'm not *that* gay. How's that pop psychology working out for you now?"

Starting Again, Once Again.

2008-03-27T14:35:44Z

It's a strange place to be in, back in no man's land. Or at least, that's how it feels to me.

Since I started writing for RPG companies back in the early 90s, I hit several milestones in my career path. In fact, I reached a point where I was becoming a decent name in the industry. But I left it for videogames and tie-in work, where I started back at square one.

In videogames, I haven't hit the same level of fame or notoriety as I did in PnP games, but I worked on two Triple-A titles ("Dawn of War," and "Rainbow Six: Vegas") as well as a number of movie tie-in titles for handhelds.

For tie-in novels, I've written five and had four published so far. Again, not enough to make a large ping on everyone's radar, but enough to be writing for WoTC and Black Library (and pissing off fans everywhere).

Now, I'm splitting off again (into my own fiction) and yet again, I'm back somewhere near Square One. Well, not entirely that far back, but I have to go through the painful process of developing a reputation... again. I'm relatively invisible... again.

That's not to say I've totally abandoned gaming or videogames or tie-ins. I'll still write for Green Ronin's Mutants and Masterminds when they'll have me. I'll still write Dragonlance and Warhammer to keep my foot in the tie-in biz. I'll still write for videogames because the money can't be beat and I like having those titles under my belt.

But my focus is different. That said, it's a hard place to be, because I keep swimming in larger and larger seas. Had I stayed in gaming, could I have developed a reputation as creatively strong or as adored as Kenson's or Hite's or Mearl's or or or? Could I have done something to outstrip Orpheus' success? Maybe, and God knows I miss world design, especially when it comes to horror.

If I stay in videogames, can I rise above the froth of egos to reach the respectability of Richard Dansky or Susan O'Conner (and yes, Rich, you are respected, so bite me). Or can I be tie-in's next R.A. Salvatore or Dan Abnett. Again... I don't know, but then, those were never my end goals. Hell, I don't think I have an end goal... I want to write and I'm never satisfied with where I am.

So here I am, back at the beginning (relatively speaking), testing new waters and watching the leviathan-sized dark shapes swim beneath the surface. And God help me, I'm a tadpole again.

PS: I don't really want to be the next Kenson, Abnett, Dansky or King. They're doing a fine job at it already and why give fans another reason to bitch about you when you don't reach their expectations?

I'd rather leave it to some poor bastard trying to be the next Soulban to catch the flack.

PPS: Wheeeeeee... here I go again.

LJ Strike?

2008-03-20T13:06:06Z

Seems there's an LJ Strike set for March 21st... this Friday. Here are the details, though I need to know more about it before I decide one way or the other

***

For those of you who don't already know, there has been a strike scheduled for Friday, March 21st, 2008, during which we hope to have many members of LiveJournal provide LJ with absolutely no content for twenty-four hours. This means no posting and no commenting. If you post elsewhere and have it set up to be posted through a feed on LiveJournal, don't do it. Stay away from LiveJournal for twenty-four hours. That can't be too hard, can it? I know some of you are probably quite active on LiveJournal and will find it hard to stay away for an entire day, just as I will, but this is something that needs to be done, to show the people running LiveJournal that we're watching the changes they are making, that we're paying attention, that we're discontent, and that we want to be heard and taken in to consideration. We are not simply users who can be tossed to the side and ignored. We are the people who make up LiveJournal. Without us, without the content we create, without our words, our voices, our creativity, our participation, there would be no LiveJournal. This is a fact, and it needs to be realized and understood and then taken in to consideration when making decisions regarding the way that LiveJournal is run. The strike is only a few days away, so there isn't all too much time to prepare. While this is unfortunate, it isn't enough to keep this strike from taking place. It will take place, the second it is meant to, and it would be best to have as many people take part as possible. Please, spread the word. Spread it fast. There are only a few days to organize this. If you find that you care about LiveJournal or care about the people you interact with on LiveJournal or simply want it to remain a place where you can entertain yourself without constant censorship and money-hungry practices being thrown in without the consideration of those who use the service, act now. If you don't wish to spread the word, that is fine, but please: refrain from using LiveJournal on Friday, March 21st. Do something else for a change. It's for a good cause. (:

For background on this strike and why it is being held, please read the following posts:
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/394838.html
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/395310.html

To find out exactly when the strike begins and ends, depending on where you are located, please see this:
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/395125.html

What's this about?

* It's about free and ad-free LiveJournal accounts being abolished for new members, ignoring the advice from the newly-formed Advisory Board.
* It's about LJ staff trying to sneak this decision in under the radar, and when people found out, telling the users it was done 'to make the signup process less confusing'.
* It's about LJ staff failing to apologize for trying to hide the facts from view and for lying about the actual reasons for their actions.
* And finally, it's about the latest decision to hide certain user interests from the list of Most Popular Interests, some of them being fanfiction, bisexuality, sex and depression. This decision was not announced or explained in any way. Users found out for themselves.

The Grim Reaper!

2008-03-19T17:46:38Z

Wow... I laughed, but I'm not sure how I would have reacted to this if it happened to me.

And because this actually is funny....

lucien_soulban @ 2008-03-16T08:39:00

2008-03-16T12:39:14Z

The Guild is a web series about the gaming guild of an unnamed MMO. You never see the game, just the players, but it's a great little series (and funny). Here's the first episode and the link to the other episodes so far:

http://www.watchtheguild.com/episodes/

Done!

2008-03-15T14:06:04Z

The first draft of my Dragonlance novel is done and off to my editor.

Ahhhh... beautiful freedom!

This marks my sixth completed manuscript... five for tie-in works, one for my own novel, and four published so far. This, however, is the first novel where I set a schedule and kept to it so well that I didn't have to do any late-night marathons. All it took was creating a second work account on my computer with no internet access.

Life is good because for the first time in a long time, I feel responsible enough to call myself a writer.

Professional Courtesy

2008-03-14T15:16:10Z

When sending an email regarding an overdue payment, it is better to ask for "proof of deposit ON your end" and not "proof of deposit IN your end."

Two entirely different conversations, though one that my friends would hardly find surprising when it comes to me.